Tattooed Biker Alpha

I watched Whitney Cummings' HBO comedy special last night. She's an extremely funny lady and I recommend you check out her comedy if you haven't already. One bit she performed focused on birth control. She mentioned that birth control pills trick a woman's body into believing it is pregnant. Because of the pregnancy hormones, women become more attracted to "alpha" males to protect their imaginary offspring. She stated that was the reason she was always dating tattooed bikers.

After hearing this, I quickly turned to my wife and pointed to myself, a tattooed biker! I must be an alpha male! I'm alpha as fuck, brah! (Not serious)

Does riding a motorcycle make a guy an alpha male? What is an alpha male? I'm not exactly sure what the answers to these questions are. Webster's dictionary defines an alpha male as, "A man tending to assume a dominant or domineering role in social or professional situations." By this definition a motorcycle rider would not inherently be an alpha male. However, the fact that motorcycling is not the norm in society, a biker wouldn't be just a follower either.

I guess my opinion is that a biker may not always be an alpha male. However, because they do not follow the norm, they are more likely to be alpha than the rest of the population. So, stay alpha my biker brothers!

"We need the iron qualities that go with true manhood. We need the positive virtues of resolution, of courage, of indomitable will, of power to do without shrinking the rough work that must always be done." - Theodore Roosevelt

A Real Terminator?

 

It's happening! Remember my post a few weeks ago discussing the implications that fully autonomous vehicles may have on motorcycling? Now I read this article about the Yamaha MotoBot. My response is...Holy shit!

I'm both excited and frightened by this technology. If the human element is removed from motorcycle testing, just think of the improvements this could create for performance and safety. No matter how skillful and confident a rider may be, his or her survival instinct will limit the ability to push a bike to its absolute limits. MotoBot will not have these limits. However, the thought of a machine operating a motorcycle just seems creepy and (to paraphrase the article) terminator-like.

The safety implications of this technology could be great for motorcycling, no matter how creepy this robot may be. A safer bike will, in my opinion, will create greater acceptance towards motorcycling and keep us all riding for decades to come. I still believe that danger is part of the attraction to motorcycles, but if safer bikes keeps the industry alive, I'm all for them!

"I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle." - Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator 2 - Judgement Day



Trailer Your Hobby

It's snowmobile season here in the north and I've been seeing a nonstop line of trucks hauling snowmobile trailers. Seeing these reminds me of a great thing about motorcycling, especially on road motorcycling. You never have to trailer your motorcycle to ride it.

Now, I know there are exceptions to the statement above, like trailering your bike in the winter to get somewhere warm enough to ride. However, in general, all you have to do is jump on your bike and go. Actually, if you trailer your bike to your destination for no other reason than your unwillingness to ride any kind of distance, you'll find yourself being the topic of a lot of bikers' jokes. The trip to your destination is the fun part of motorcycling!

I can't imagine the money snowmobilers must spend on their trailer and a truck to haul the trailer, let alone fuel for that truck. So, motorcycling is also a cheaper hobby! Now, if I only lived in a place that I wouldn't need to worry about winter putting a halt to my riding, but that's another topic.

"When a habit begins to cost money, it's called a hobby." - Unknown

Road King

 

It's been a while since I told one of my motorcycle stories, so here's one from my teenage years.

 

In the fall of 1996, my dad and I made our yearly trip to a wholesale clothing store about a hundred miles away. My parents owned a grocery store/gas station and we'd make the trip to pick up winter boots to stock the shelves before winter. These trips were especially great to me because it marked the end of my football season (I'd always be tired of football by then) and I'd get to take a day off of school. A Harley Davidson dealership was also a few miles away from this wholesale store.

This dealership has since closed and it was quite different than the Harley dealers of today. This was a motorcycle shop without any frills. It was a small metal sided building with no windows. Inside there was a workshop with a small showroom for the new bikes and one t-shirt rack. At this time, demand for new Harleys exceeded supply, so everyone was placed on a waiting list to receive a new bike. My dad had put his name on the list a couple months prior to our trip.

My dad had listed a bunch of different models that he was interested in, hoping to get a bike as soon as possible. He currently had a Sportster 1200, but wanted a touring bike. He also knew that since the demand for Harleys was so high, the shop owner could pick and choose which customer received each bike.

We stopped in the shop that day just to pick up some oil for my dad's Sportster. The only bike on the showroom floor was a brand new metallic red Road King. I'm not big on colors other than black, but this particular red combined with the chrome engine covers made this bike beautiful. My dad, in jest, asked, "Wouldn't it be cool if this was my bike?" Then the owner met us in the front of the shop. He looked at us and said, "Your bike's here." It was the red Road King. We just happened to be there at the right time to claim it.

We didn't take it home that night, so we made a return trip the following week. My dad rode the bike home on a frosty November evening. When we pulled into our yard and my dad looked at me and asked, "You wanna go for a ride?"

I was shocked! He had just spent $17,000 on this brand new motorcycle and he was trusting his 16 year old kid with it. I, of course, accepted his offer.

I rode for only about 2 miles and turned around. On the way home, a deer leaped out in front of me and I was forced to brake very hard. The tires squealed and skidded, but I came to a stop. Looking up, I noticed the deer was frozen less than 3 feet in front of me. After what seemed like an eternity, the deer finally ran away and I crept home in first gear.

I arrived at home and my dad asked what the squealing was. Then he looked at my ghost white face and he knew something happened. "Deer?” he asked. I nodded. "You ok?" I nodded again. "Good." No lecture, he was just happy I was alright. I hope I can be as calm with my kids when they're teenagers.

You'd think I'd learned my lesson when it comes to riding at night and deer, but I didn't. I had a much worse deer incident a few years later, but that's another story.

"To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved." - George MacDonald